Even Happy People Have Bad Days: But…

Breaking News: Even Happy People Have Bad Days

Imagine how many insurances the folks in this town have…

As y’all know, I’m normally quite positive and optimistic. It’s the way I live my life and I don’t mind using .05% more energy in every situation to try and see the silver lining, if it’s not abundantly clear. It’s this mindset that’s made me enjoy running in the rain (you’re going to sweat anyway, what’s a few more drops?), torturing myself with visa bureaucracy, and making a fool of myself with my bad German skills. Normally, it’s easy for me to push through and be happy, because I know that the bad days are few, and the days afterwards are full of sunshine.

That is, until Thursday of this week.

For some reason, after an absolutely awesome Monday through Wednesday, on Thursday morning I woke up feeling the weight of the world on my shoulders. Being in the process of bureaucratically moving countries, and apartments, entirely alone, was too much for me to think about on this particularly cloudy morning. Buying washing machines, making appointments with the right government offices, purchasing my 35th “just in case” German insurance (they LOVE insurances in Germany, y’all), and renting a moving van that I certainly don’t know how to drive was just too much. So as I sat sipping my coffee and staring at my laptop at WeWork, I exasperatedly sighed, “today sucks.” 

I only say this because I want to be honest with y’all. It’s not fair if my blog posts are 100% inspiration and #blessed lessons from life abroad. I work hard. I’m incredibly happy. But not all days are sunshine and rainbows. What I do think matters, is what you do with those cloudy, weight-of-the-world days.

So what do I do when you have those days? Well, I’ve noticed that no matter how heavy the clouds are, these three steps always help me find the sunshine. 

Step 1: Hilfe!

I ask for help and I refuse to let myself be swallowed. (This is when optimism comes back into play. Wahoo! I missed that girl.)

So this week, I reached out to my superstar friends Josh and Fabi who will kindly drive my moving van. I got a recommendation from a secondhand appliance shop (reduce, reuse, recycle, y’all!) and scheduled time to pay them a visit in my calendar. And then Kris called me to walk me through the gallery of insurances available in Germany, and explain which ones are most necessary. This girl is about to be very well-insured. (I’ve never sounded more boring in my life…)

And then, after getting this help, I set out to do the things I can do, without help! Why? Well, I don’t enjoy being needy, but most importantly, we gotta build that confidence, folks! And you bet your bottom dollar I was on cloud-freakin-NINE when I waltzed out of the secondhand appliance store yesterday, with the receipt for a washing machine AND a dishwasher, all negotiated and agreed upon in German. The friendly guys at the shop showed me through their rabbit warren of appliances, filled with the solid German brands (Siemens and Bosch FTW!) while I blubbered about in my best Danglish (Deutsch + English). The whole thing was quite comical, but I left feeling SO accomplished. One big thing checked off my mountain of a to-do list, thanks to a recommendation from a friend and my own determination (plus some questionable language skills…).  

Step 2: USE YOUR WORDS

Admit that not everything is fine. 

This. This. This. We all know those people who pretend like everything is fine, while the world around them is a burning, smelly, dumpster fire. Maybe denial suits them quite well (I’m being 100% serious. We all cope differently.) but I, personally, have never found this to be productive. Does your to-do list look twelve miles long? Do you feel like the universe turned its back on you for a bit? Are you paddling furiously beneath the surface of the water but suddenly seem to be going nowhere?

THEN SAY SOMETHING! 

Thursday morning, while exchanging my daily greetings with my friends at WeWork, I answered the familiar question, “how are you doing today?” with an unfamiliar answer: “I’m feeling overwhelmed.” Honesty? How refreshing! Just by acknowledging that things aren’t so peachy keen for a day, I immediately felt better. And the point of a response like “I’m overwhelmed” isn’t to invoke pity. We all know pity isn’t good for much. But it’s to talk things out. We all need someone to listen to us and help us make sense of things sometimes. By laying all of your supposed “problems” out on the table, you can start to mentally organize and formulate a plan as to how to tackle each thing, step-by-step. Write it out. Talk it out. Whatever you need to do, just get it out there. It’s ok not to be ok. 

Step 3: YOU DO YOU, BOO!

Fill your life with the things that make you happy.

As Thursday came to a close, and I had my weekly calendar scheduled with the tasks I needed to accomplish, a van booked for my move, and absolutely no progress on trying to score an appointment for my address registration, I realized, by far, the most important pillar of life: Fill it with the things you love. 

Because, as I closed my computer at WeWork after a mediocre workday, I realized how much I love my job. Even the mediocre days are pretty inspiring. And as I poured myself a beer at WeWork (it’s included in the membership. HUZZAH!) and sat down with my friend Fiona to decompress and talk through our days, I took stock of how much having a coworking space matters to me. It’s something I budgeted for and made happen, because I like feeling motivated, inspired, and connected to other creative, business-y people. After finishing my tiny beer (I poured a small one on purpose. Alcohol + day of feeling overwhelmed = NOT great combination), I was off to my German class: Another thing that I’ve made time for every week. It’s a simple part of my routine that leaves me feeling both accomplished and entertained (our class has such a dynamic mix of characters from all over the world and I’m happy to report that I’m not the most dramatic one there!). 

It’s these things, in addition to my workouts at Kaifu Lodge, that I put into my schedule, every single week, because they make me happy. They bring me closer to people who inspire and motivate me. And they make me feel accomplished.

This sounds like caveman speak, because honestly, it’s a super simple concept. Do the things that bring you joy. Put in the effort to build your confidence and learn new skills. And connect with the people who you want to know, sans filters, makeup, and dances of politeness, because those are the folks who will be there for you (and vice versa) when Thursday hits. And if I do say so myself, Friday was awesome, Saturday was even better, and Sunday is my day to share this with all of you, so tie me up with a ribbon and ship me off to Narnia, I’m a happy girl.

A happy girl who is there for you when your Thursdays hit.

Whatever your Thursday is, I’m here.

(I can’t drive a manual moving van, but otherwise, I got you.)

Bonus:

My keywords for this year are balance and perspective, both of which helped me see the silver linings of this Thursday. Lucky for you, these words are also the main theme of a webinar I did for artists and creatives, with lessons that apply to everyone looking for a bit of inspo. Check it out here and let me know your thoughts!