What I Learned From My RIDICULOUS Adult Temper Tantrum
Hi. My name is Emily. I’m 28 years old, and three days ago I threw a temper tantrum.
Now, if you’ll allow me a bit of backstory here, my moods throughout the years have had a rollercoaster ride of an evolution, since my wobbly toddler days. When I was a small child, I was the QUEEN of temper tantrums. Like down on the ground, screaming, throwing things, pulling my sister’s hair, “WHOSE CHILD IS THIS?” sort of temper tantrums. About the most random things. One specific meltdown, where I threw torn up paper down the stairs, happened at about 4 years old and had something to do with Barney. What exactly, I can’t remember. Bottom line: I was angry, y’all.
And then, as my sister, Abby, plainly put it to me many years later:
“One day, it’s like you just decided to be happy.” And poof! Rage-induced, redhead found the light! I honestly think it was around my hormone-laden middle school years where I found greater benefits in being happy, and decided to stick with it for awhile. Awhile turned into… however many years we’re looking at now (not without a few relapses).
Cheers to choosing Happiness
Speaking of relapses, this past week we were on an errand for my boyfriend Kris’ work, and had access to a car; something we both conveniently sold before arriving in the middle of nowhere in Germany. Access to the car meant one very exciting thing: A BIG grocery shop. Like one where you buy the things you can’t fasten to the back of a bike. Our lists were long, our expectations were high, and our time was… limited.
I had to be back for work in the afternoon, so in my mind, I’d crafted the perfect plan of what our day would look like. Run the work errand. Grab a coffee. Sit in the sun savoring said coffee. Take our time in the grocery store getting the millions of ingredients we needed for our weekly meal plan. And head home with the music blasting and windows open, before I’d get back to work.
But the funny thing about crafting plans in your mind, is only you know what that perfect plan looks like. And sometimes other people have their perfect plans in their own minds as well.
And everything came to a screeching halt when we pulled into the parking lot of ALDI. Normally, I really like ALDI for the basics. But sometimes in ALDI, you never know what they’re going to have. My temper tantrum demons started to rear their ugly heads as I said, “Why are we going to ALDI? I thought we were going to the big Rewe (another generic grocery store).”
But because the angry little monsters inside my brain were starting to win, I said nothing else and huffed and puffed my way into the line to collect a cart, and burst into ALDI with the enthusiasm of waking up at 7am on Monday morning. Then I stood there for awhile letting the tantrum demons take over. I said snarky things to Kris, scoffed at the perfectly fine peppers, said I didn’t like the beer they had in stock, picked up a can of coconut milk (because at one point I accepted I was being .01% ridiculous), and then proceeded to pay and GTFO of there.
With time running out, we then whizzed into the parking lot of Rewe, I snagged a few precious things I so love Rewe for (their tofu selection is the bomb.com), and then it was all over. About an hour later than planned.
And I was still a grumpy Monster.
Grumpy that time was running out. Grumpy that I didn’t have time to savor my favorite errand, sauntering through the aisles of things I don’t need in Rewe. And grumpy that my perfect plan was interrupted.
Are you still reading this post about a brat in a grocery store? Wow, I’ve reached a new level of boring. (Kidding! It’s about to get better.)
Anywho, throughout all of this, I wasn’t kicking, screaming or throwing things (besides looks), so I guess we’ll celebrate the growth of my temper tantrums over 28 years on this planet. My preferred method of grumpiness is now the silent treatment. But you know the funny thing about the silent treatment?
It doesn’t fix anything.
In fact, it makes everything last way longer. And suddenly, being grumpy about wasting time in ALDI (which wasn’t actually wasting time) has turned into a day long affair, and you’re grumpy about a grocery store, which is just PLAIN CRAZY.
But what’s not crazy here is the change factor.
Throughout the past few weeks, our lives have seen drastic changes. Changes that are necessary to save lives, keep people out of harm’s way, and make our heroes jobs easier. But it’s still change nonetheless. Big, big changes to our routines, our social interactions, and our livelihoods. And human beings are naturally resistant to change. So after I drank lots of water, went on a run, and apologized to Kris for being a monster, I realized that I was allowed to be upset.
You’re allowed to be sad that things are cancelled.
It’s completely acceptable to mourn your shoe collection that never sees the light of day anymore.
And it is 1000% OK that you’re pissed about your vacation being upended.
There are big changes ripping through our lives like tornadoes at the moment, and maybe something like a stupid trip to ALDI will be unexpected thing #1365163 that puts you over the edge.
And that is fine.
But what’s not fine is throwing a temper tantrum. Yes, I’m saying this just as much for myself as for you. I opted to stay silent and stew with my negative thoughts. What happened by doing that? Literally nothing productive.
What are more productive ways to handle these changes?
Drink more water (and less alcohol). I swear water is my solution for everything, but it seriously helps me.
Get fresh air.
Exercise. Walk, run, do an Alo yoga youtube video (Briohny is the BEST!)
Try something new! Create a change that YOU want. For me, this was trying Hello Fresh for the first time. AND learning how to make pretzels (recipe linked).
Set a goal for yourself each day. Then crush it! (But be kind to yourself if something gets in the way)
Notice how none of the above things involve kicking, screaming, or toddler temper tantrum tendencies? I mean, let’s be honest, those tactics kind of work when you’re little and cute. You get attention, which is the main point of the whole ordeal. But the main reason we throw these damn tantrums in the first place is because we feel misunderstood. We feel like nobody cares about our opinion. Or we feel just downright upset that things didn’t go our way.
And that’s ok. Have that moment on your own. But then it’s time to buck up buttercup, because at the moment, there are far more tragic things going on in the world for people to actually be upset about. So take your own “time out” to calm down your anti-change monsters. Breathe. Drink water. Do some jumping jacks. And get back out there!
Because ding dong! It’s our dear friend, Miss Change. And she doesn’t show signs of leaving anytime soon. So instead of trying to find a million ways to tear her down, why don’t we invite her to the table for dinner? I’ve got some perfectly fine ALDI peppers in my salad with her name on them.