Why I Feel So Stinkin' Empowered and You Should Too...
Change.
It’s a scary word. At least that’s what 99% of human beings firmly believe. And for good reason. Change brings unfamiliarity, uncertainty, and a lot of uncomfortable feelings like vulnerability, fear, and doubt. So it makes sense that the average person would be resistant to such an uncomfortable phase of life, and stick with what they know.
But when has this blog ever celebrated the average?
I’ve never strived to be average at anything, which is funny in hindsight, because I was doing the typical things that people in my profession did in New York.
-Study at one of the best schools for my chosen career? Check.
-Bust my butt at master classes and additional workshops to fine-tune my skills? Check.
-Slowly climb the ladder of success, one job at a time? TOTAL Check!
I might be a singer, but the above checklist applies to every single profession. In each case, there’s a path that’s beautifully laid out for us and inflicts the least amount of harm, with enough gain to make us feel satisfied. And in all honesty, I was super satisfied with my life in New York! I had a job. I had friends. I was somewhat stable, and I even scored a major voiceover campaign to finance a trip to Europe (nevermind the fact that I’d never entertained the idea of a savings account, but shhhhh!)
But the pieces weren’t falling in to place to create the best version of myself (<— click this for a pretty candid post about Nueva York). Of course I didn’t know this at the time. I think it’s almost impossible to know what the best version of yourself is, when you haven’t met that person yet. But isn’t it a shame not to try and get acquainted?
Enter CHANGE.
I worked on cruise ships for two years, but that’s not the change I’m referring to. Nope, that was predictable compared to what I’m doing now. The change I’m referencing is the complete, total, and utter abandonment of everything I trained to do for years, and opting for something I’m completely unqualified to do.
On Paper.
You see this is where the change story starts to change if you will. Meaningful change doesn’t happen without hard work. And I sensed that I wanted to dive into a new career pretty badly, so I tried dipping my toes in with a few blog posts, and casual forays into the writing world, while I kept my day job. (*Day job meaning working on a floating hotel…) But nothing major happened until I jumped from the highest possible diving board in the pool complex. (This is a metaphor. I don’t do those diving boards. They terrify me.) I said “1000% YES!” to crafting a CV that up-sold my strengths (overconfident? Who, me?) and downplayed my inexperience, “1000% YES!” to living in a new country where I didn’t speak the language, and “1000% YES!” to abandoning every single comfortable thing I wrapped myself in, when I lived in the United States.
And it was scary. And it was uncomfortable. And I definitely cried a lot. But if you could give me 1.5 more minutes of your time, I’d like to share the most important part of this lil’ piece of words on a webpage.
I became so empowered.
From this change, I learned to fight for what I deserve and go after BIG things. Big things like jobs I’m under-qualified for on paper, but know I can deliver on. Leading women’s business groups with literally zero business experience (lol. this is not a drill.), because I want to build up a positive and productive support group. Turning down jobs that are not worth my time, because I’ve got passion projects calling my name, and I know what my little CV that could, is worth.
Because mountains are not nearly as tall when you’ve made a habit of jumping off of a few large hills. It’s the craziest thing, but I now feel more confident, secure, and proud of myself than I ever have before, and the laughable part is that I’m still a relative nobody. But I moved to Portugal. I became a writer because I believed in myself. And I have bigger dreams of helping powerful, female-driven businesses than I ever thought possible in my tiny Harlem bedroom that cost me over $900 every month.
I guess what I’m trying to say here, is that change is still scary. Even to me. But I’ve made a point of surrounding myself with some real-people change-makers to make it all seem “normal.” I live in a town with people from all over the world who chose a creative, hipster, surf community in Portugal to foster their start ups. I routinely have coffee with an Italian friend who abandoned corporate London life to open a yoga retreat in an old, Portuguese disco. And I regularly check in (both physically and with occasional trips) to one of my greatest (American) friends in Hamburg, who navigated German paperwork for YEARS to fight for both the love and the life he knew he deserved overseas. This is real, y’all.
The paperwork is still frustrating for all of these people, and the uncertainty is plentiful. But remember that “beautifully laid out path” that exists for everyone? How do you think it was laid? 20 years ago, the path I followed in New York didn’t exist. And the path I’m finding at the moment in Portugal is severely overgrown with weeds.
But there is no greater satisfaction than looking back on what was once an overgrown field, and seeing a path that YOU made. Because that path can always lead you home, whenever the tears get to be too much, or the bureaucracy becomes overbearing. But that path is yours. It’s your trail to hurry back to, blaze ahead, and enjoy the view from the top. Because, don’t get me wrong, you will fall. You will scrape up your knees, and you might even face plant a time or two (not that I would know…).
But there, at the end of what seems like the disastrous journey known as “change,” is a person you’ve been dying to meet.
It’s You.
And that version of you, is capable of things you never thought possible, thanks to change.
So yeah, change is still scary. And meaningful change is a thing most people have given up on in their own lives. But I’m an average gal with a blog, here to tell you that change is here to stay. Change is possible. And most of all, change is empowering.